Losing Nurse Susan

As suggested, I sometimes glom onto certain segments, subsets of D/s interaction, and immerse myself. But the underlying themes are always the relinquishment of control and the thrill of the resulting humiliation.

Yet, one underlying/recurring theme is medical interplay, and probably results from experiences as a toddler. (See October 13 post).

Years ago I responded to a woman who advertised in New York magazine. ‘Nurse/role play’ if I recall the ad which grasped my attention. Her name was Susan and she was a real nurse doing ‘role play’ as a side. I called and arranged an appointment. She had a separate apartment for her part time activity (I believe in the same building where she lived). It was a 30 minute drive and with the first appointment I was pleasantly surprised to find a massage table and other medical sundries. The abode was immaculate which augured well in presenting the atmosphere of a clinically clean environment.

Whereas I never ‘script’ scenes, I offered her a few suggestions while arranging the appointment. But after arriving, once in the door she took over from there. When mentally entering ‘sub space’ I do not step out, the control element being sacrosanct in my mind.

There is always something that thrills in being completely naked with a fully clothed woman, and Nurse Susan’s white uniform certainly augmented my sense of submission. Susan was quiet yet demanding. ‘Firm’ is the term I most like to use. I have always felt that a woman in true control does not need to raise her voice, use foul language or be nasty. ‘Insouciant’ is a good term. ‘Aloof’ another.

As a noted football coach once admonished one of his scoring players after an animated touch down dance... ‘when you do get to the end zone, act like you’ve been there before’. And so I feel the same when ceding control to a superior woman. If she is in fact in control, there needs to be no outlandish demonstration or verbal excoriation. Calm, cool, stern, unfazed, nonchalant concerning discomfort, imperturbable, that’s my preferred ambiance.

And that was Susan, a professional nurse with (in retrospect I hope) a penchant which so nicely complemented mine. Blonde, blue eyed, tall, shapely, she reigned.

The typical scene...

- stripping under her watchful eye
- a well supervised shower, her softly spoken directions assuring all intimate parts were scrubbed, instructing such that my soaped hands brought myself to erection
- signaling me to turn and rinse, I could feel her gaze
- hands on head, obediently standing while she dried me, inspecting every inch of my flesh (erection included)
- a supervised walk from the bathroom to the examination room and table
- more examination, palpating everywhere
- shaving of the pubes (defoliating the genitals for extreme exposure, I like the governing aspect) most professionally working around my erection, like it was not standing in humble compliance (she’d ‘been to the end zone before’)
- a testicle examination with blunt, questions concerning my masturbation habits
- a command to turn over, rise and kneel on all fours
- a prostate exam, the gentle grip of her hand warmly grasping my scrotum while the fingers of her right penetrated and indeed examined
- a ‘clinical’ hand job, no dirty words, silent stroking, the quiet, assured mechanics adding to the scene, medically depleting me of semen while kneeling on all fours, offering a sense that I was a cow being milked

Yes, Susan fulfilled my dream medical scenario. She rarely spoke, no distracting verbal diversion in allowing my fantasies to mentally amplify a most controlling (and humiliating) scene. Stern as noted. Professional. Pleasant to look at. Totally in charge.

I do not know how many times I visited her. One day I called to make an appointment and left a message. She did not return the call and when I tried again the very next day, her phone was disconnected. After a few more days of trying I drove to her building and found futility since I could not get past the locked doors. I wrote a letter and it was never answered.

Whatever happened I do not know. I have speculated... one, that she ran afoul of the landlord (a large apartment building, a neighbor may have complained about the activity)... or two, she burned out and choose to abruptly discontinue her endeavors.

Whatever the case I lost her and I to this day (some ten years) have not seen or heard from her since.

So Nurse Susan, if you’re out there please comment.