Thursday, November 20, 2008

Losing Nurse Susan

As suggested, I sometimes glom onto certain segments, subsets of D/s interaction, and immerse myself. But the underlying themes are always the relinquishment of control and the thrill of the resulting humiliation.

Yet, one underlying/recurring theme is medical interplay, and probably results from experiences as a toddler. (See October 13 post).

Years ago I responded to a woman who advertised in New York magazine. ‘Nurse/role play’ if I recall the ad which grasped my attention. Her name was Susan and she was a real nurse doing ‘role play’ as a side. I called and arranged an appointment. She had a separate apartment for her part time activity (I believe in the same building where she lived). It was a 30 minute drive and with the first appointment I was pleasantly surprised to find a massage table and other medical sundries. The abode was immaculate which augured well in presenting the atmosphere of a clinically clean environment.

Whereas I never ‘script’ scenes, I offered her a few suggestions while arranging the appointment. But after arriving, once in the door she took over from there. When mentally entering ‘sub space’ I do not step out, the control element being sacrosanct in my mind.

There is always something that thrills in being completely naked with a fully clothed woman, and Nurse Susan’s white uniform certainly augmented my sense of submission. Susan was quiet yet demanding. ‘Firm’ is the term I most like to use. I have always felt that a woman in true control does not need to raise her voice, use foul language or be nasty. ‘Insouciant’ is a good term. ‘Aloof’ another.

As a noted football coach once admonished one of his scoring players after an animated touch down dance... ‘when you do get to the end zone, act like you’ve been there before’. And so I feel the same when ceding control to a superior woman. If she is in fact in control, there needs to be no outlandish demonstration or verbal excoriation. Calm, cool, stern, unfazed, nonchalant concerning discomfort, imperturbable, that’s my preferred ambiance.

And that was Susan, a professional nurse with (in retrospect I hope) a penchant which so nicely complemented mine. Blonde, blue eyed, tall, shapely, she reigned.

The typical scene...

- stripping under her watchful eye
- a well supervised shower, her softly spoken directions assuring all intimate parts were scrubbed, instructing such that my soaped hands brought myself to erection
- signaling me to turn and rinse, I could feel her gaze
- hands on head, obediently standing while she dried me, inspecting every inch of my flesh (erection included)
- a supervised walk from the bathroom to the examination room and table
- more examination, palpating everywhere
- shaving of the pubes (defoliating the genitals for extreme exposure, I like the governing aspect) most professionally working around my erection, like it was not standing in humble compliance (she’d ‘been to the end zone before’)
- a testicle examination with blunt, questions concerning my masturbation habits
- a command to turn over, rise and kneel on all fours
- a prostate exam, the gentle grip of her hand warmly grasping my scrotum while the fingers of her right penetrated and indeed examined
- a ‘clinical’ hand job, no dirty words, silent stroking, the quiet, assured mechanics adding to the scene, medically depleting me of semen while kneeling on all fours, offering a sense that I was a cow being milked

Yes, Susan fulfilled my dream medical scenario. She rarely spoke, no distracting verbal diversion in allowing my fantasies to mentally amplify a most controlling (and humiliating) scene. Stern as noted. Professional. Pleasant to look at. Totally in charge.

I do not know how many times I visited her. One day I called to make an appointment and left a message. She did not return the call and when I tried again the very next day, her phone was disconnected. After a few more days of trying I drove to her building and found futility since I could not get past the locked doors. I wrote a letter and it was never answered.

Whatever happened I do not know. I have speculated... one, that she ran afoul of the landlord (a large apartment building, a neighbor may have complained about the activity)... or two, she burned out and choose to abruptly discontinue her endeavors.

Whatever the case I lost her and I to this day (some ten years) have not seen or heard from her since.

So Nurse Susan, if you’re out there please comment.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Suspension bondage

This blog has been sadly neglected over the past couple of weeks. I have been ill plus business has kept me on the road.

As one can imagine I have been in the company of many dominant women over the years. The scenes and antics are endless with my hyperactive kinky mind periodically latching on to some form of D/s perversion for a time then ravenously ‘chewing’ on it like a frantic dog with a challengingly sizeable bone. Then having sucked the marrow from it moving on to the next D/s subset.

For example, suspension bondage thrilled for a time and I purchased a most comfortable harness and some simple artifacts to facilitate dangling from a beam in my home.

As I have pedantically offered on many occasions, the two important elements of suspension, rather antithetical to BDSM, are safety and comfort. The first is self evident and the bound should never be left alone with escape readily available. But the second is important in seeking the desired long term elements of control, helplessness and vulnerability.

The harness I purchased was made of broad nylon straps with thick fur-like padding where the body’s weight was supported. (Leather is gothically traditional but rather impractical in that it stretches and pinches, bringing a level of pain which can quickly transform to non erotic). A one piece collection of waist belt, straps up and over the shoulder, and the most significant, straps running under the thighs serving both to support most of the weight and forcefully spread the legs while hanging.

In suspension the straps transferred all the weight to two large thick rings on the shoulder straps, just at the back of the neck. So suspension was a simple matter of stepping up on a chair, hooking the rings to a set of chains attached to the beam and having the dominant partner slide away the chair. (Important to have the chair at the ready to reverse the process).

The effect on the male anatomy is most priapic. Something about shifting the tension/pressure on the spinal cord brings instant tumescence. When cuffed, hands behind the back, the offer of total control and a most humiliating display of the erect penis are quite amusing for the tending dominant woman. It offers intense elements of power exchange.

The design of my harness left the buttocks well presented and free for basic chastisement and the addition of anal plugs. With the support rings at the nape of the neck, the position/posture resembled that of a puppy or kitten held in the jaws of a tending mother hound or cat, quite symbolic.

One word of caution for practitioners is to carefully observe for orthostatic syncope (fainting). Over time, with extensive suspension, the bound can (and probably will) feel light headed and enter a state of euphoria. This phenomenon occurs when held upright and motionless for long periods which results in pooling of the blood in lower extremities (away from the brain) and thus fainting. Soldiers standing at attention for inordinate periods experience this as do choir singers. The proper intervention is to merely lie down which for fainting soldiers and choir singers is a readily available solution.

But this is not readily available for the bound! So observe and have that chair at the ready to end suspension. (Orthostatic syncope can be deadly, experienced rock climbers are very much aware of this and are trained to intercede by shifting positions to the horizontal when stuck).

The biological/anatomical explanation for this phenomenon is that the human circulatory system has never fully adapted to standing upright which cro-Magnon man (?) first endeavored tens of thousands of years ago. Its original design was for being on all fours (can that explain my occasional penchant for puppy play?).

My latest Pink Flamingo release will be out shortly, succinctly entitled ‘Suspension Bondage’. It is male and female dominant/female submissive (sorry Jane, but there are incidental characters you will enjoy) and will entertain the devotees of this form of long term control.

So please purchase, enjoy and by all means comment!